Stand high

Its time to do what I have been working for
I freeze in my place not a move from me
not a word comes out of my mouth
I don't understand why I have been waiting
for this for some time now and I fail myself
I was there at my goal ant the place of judgment
I failed and have became this failure in life
I never had this problem before this day
why is this happening to me here and now
I never feared failing when I try but now
I fail of fear with out trying do to my past
failing has been painful in the past and
life is a circle that goes around and
ends up ion the same place I hope to try again
but I have been here before and I will stand up
to my fears and look them in their face and
make them fear me for I have become a king
that should be feared not afraid of my goals

Goal in the dark

There is a goal in my head
and I can only hope I can do it
I look at my self in the mirror
you can do this for me its a new world
and I must stand up to my fears
open out my mouth and let it all out
my fist starts to sweet and my mouth is dry
nerves high in the are I hope only to be able
to do this I must do this to prove it all to me
cry out to myself wake up and fight
no more sleeping no more games
if you are here then you should stand up
in the face of what is hard to see and grab it
why cant we just get rid of our fears
walk to the goal and just say hello
game over you have won the game
just the fact that you stand up is a great step
no sit down and relax for its out of my hand
my moves over its now your good bye

Here but where

Here in this place I don't know
a felling of happiness flows
though me and over me like
water under a waterfall
so happy that I have a hard time
believing it its to much to fell this flow
but deep in this soul I fell some thing else
pain a hate to some thing I don't like
I can stand this any more one feeling
one word should I know
any thing but here cry is all I want to
do but laugh is what I want to do
die is what I want but a live I am
life should be one way why am I here
it seems to be two way street
and I am in the middle of it
confused and want an answer to this
life I am livings in the end I am here

Dark truth

Late at night I sit quite
in this house that is loud
I ask my self what I have
done and why I think the way I do
I sit for hours just wondering
about the stupidest things
I can not deny the facts that
run throw my head for I can
only see the truth of
silliness and waste of time
I have to do some thing with
in this life of mine
it is only one second in
the long time of life
I am here doing nothing
evil just evil that's all
taking time as a joke
before you know I will be die
and what would I have left behind
cry at the idea of the life we live

Extra time I don't need

I sit down this boring night
nothing here just me and my mind
I have to say they is much that
I should be a fried of in this mind of mine
ideas that I don't really understand
but they are there waiting for me to try
to understand the unknown like all the time
because it knows me more then I know my self
I just hope this is not what I think it is
I see the face of a friend and a word
the eyes of an angel and a feeling
the smile of a dream and once more cry out
a past with a knife coming to me
some thing so small that problems me
fears that come alive and hunt me
what done this mean I don't know but
I only hope I can see what it all means
before its to late to do anything about what I see
people would say let me be
but not me help me for I don't know what happened
to this mind of mine good bye oh old friend
I will just need to wait and see what shall happen to me

I raise above my old self

I sit on the floor and look up
there is was some thing new
I have never seen like it before
I changed my mind and tried my best
I spoke all right without a flaw
for what was before me fell down
from the skies and on to earth
the stones that is set in the face
the kind curves that are just in place
the hidden beauty I want to know
story came with such grace
and will leave this soul of mine
staying here in this small place
the limited time that I get to see
what truly is there is something large
a whole piece of life that I can have
but I stand up and walk away
for I deny my self to fall into the dark
bye oh friend and more then that
but I forgot to even know the name