Here but where

Here in this place I don't know
a felling of happiness flows
though me and over me like
water under a waterfall
so happy that I have a hard time
believing it its to much to fell this flow
but deep in this soul I fell some thing else
pain a hate to some thing I don't like
I can stand this any more one feeling
one word should I know
any thing but here cry is all I want to
do but laugh is what I want to do
die is what I want but a live I am
life should be one way why am I here
it seems to be two way street
and I am in the middle of it
confused and want an answer to this
life I am livings in the end I am here