count down
hands shaking, heave breathing, nicotine craving
nerves sending singles to my mind making it work over time
doubt and worry of whats unknown
no concentration at all no piece of thought
vary time consuming, no way of running
energy depletion, sitting thinking alone
sleep deprived from non-stop thinking
coffee the only thing that keeping me alive
can't eat and feeling like i can't breath
giving up the fight the unrested mind
giving into this place of my mind
feeling bad but not depressed just unrest
all the different kinds of questions at thing time
predicting a future, preparing my self at this time
hopeful for peace within my mind
nerves sending singles to my mind making it work over time
doubt and worry of whats unknown
no concentration at all no piece of thought
vary time consuming, no way of running
energy depletion, sitting thinking alone
sleep deprived from non-stop thinking
coffee the only thing that keeping me alive
can't eat and feeling like i can't breath
giving up the fight the unrested mind
giving into this place of my mind
feeling bad but not depressed just unrest
all the different kinds of questions at thing time
predicting a future, preparing my self at this time
hopeful for peace within my mind
posted by Salah at 3:45 PM
1 Comments:
Well, I like this poem best but I think that you should write more about how you are feeling as a human being rather than a fiery lover. My criticism for now is that you should stop using the angel as a personification of your lady love. Give her a character, make her human and fun and interesting. the angel thing is too one sided.
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